by A.Myers
My Grandfather is dying please help me....?
Best answer:
never easy to sayWell, I am so sorry it is such a longlasting agony...but everyone will go away someday or another.
I know it hurts when things are not optimum...
Keep a diary so the feelings won't be inside of you aching that much, if you write them down you will feel much relieved.
Don't know if your grandfather would remember the good things you do or can do for him, but he would be grateful if he remembered or knew about anything you do or did to make his last moments of life better moments.my mom had dementia i would go to her home to go her house my sister lived their , She had said to me do you think your father will be back i said what I didn't know she was like this my father had died over20 years ago this is how it goes they go back to the past sometimes act like children later that year she was diagnosed with colon cancer i noticed she was dropping weight so i had my sister take her to the doc they found blood in her stool I guess she knew but would,nt go for a colons copy they did do a check on her I will never forget her asking the dr how long do i have,she did,nt bat an eye or shed a tear it was me and my sister doing the crying she had an operation the dr said with surgery maybe 9 months she had the surgery she kept saying she wanted to go to Nancy's house which is my sisters name and it was still my mothers house it seemed like she did,nt know who i was after she went home she was still losing weight i would ask if she was in pain she said no Even after the surgery she didn't want pain meds or nothing then came when she could not descend steps my sister would carry her around she was 69lbs we asked for a nurse on monday they said they would start on weds that Morning my sister came in from work called to say she died that was dec12/2000 they will do what they can for him just time wil TellI worked in hospice for a long time and have cared for many people who have passed away from a variety of diseases. From my experience what your grandfather is going through is normal. It's part of the active dying process. Especially with cancer, as it progresses it sometimes metastasizes to other parts of the body (usually major organs, although I'm not saying that is what has happened.) and it has the ability to alter mental status. Also, UTI's are notorious for altering mental status as well in older adults. As the organs begin to fail, he will start to act even more strange. He may see people that aren't there, or have conversations with people you can't see. This is normal. If he is not eating or drinking, the IV fluids will help him for some time, but eventually it won't be enough. His skin turgor will be poor and dry. He may start to turn a greyish color (or a yellow color if his liver and kidneys are failing.) He may have a slight fruity or urine scent to him (also a sign of the kidneys shutting down.) If he urinates at all it will be dark and cloudy (whether he has a catheter or not.) His mucous membranes will become dry and he may stop blinking as often as he did and will keep his mouth open. Breathing will become more difficult and he will begin to use accessory muscles. It will look like he is using his whole torso to breathe. Eventually that too will start to slow down. As his respiration's become slower and more shallow, he will probably stop talking at all. He will stop responding to physical or auditory stimuli. It will appear that he's sleeping. It usually then that patients gently pass away.
I AM NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU!!!!!
I'm not saying this is exactly how your grandfather will decline, or in that order. But as I said, from my experience this is typically how most patients (regardless of their condition/disease) tend to pass. I think the hardest part of it all is not when they seem to being losing their minds, but when it looks like they are having trouble breathing. Morphine sublingually or IM/SQ is normally the number one drug prescribed to help those are dying because it helps with the possible pain associated and it helps to make breathing easier.
If there is a hospice in your area, I would give them a call because their sole purpose is to aid the individual who is dying, as well as their families.
I know how you feel about the suffering, but unfortunately euthanasia is considered "murder" in most countries and is illegal. It would be much easier on many families if it were legalized.
I would suggest being with your grandfather, but don't allow it to become your life. Remember you still have a life you need to live when he's gone, so don't neglect your friends, family, chores, work, etc. Be with your family and discuss your concerns. It's also helpful to speak with the nursing staff. They know that it's a difficult time for you and will be willing to talk (provided they are not swamped at the time you wish to sit down and speak with them.)
I hope this helps, and once again, It was not meant to upset or disturb you.I will say a prayer for your family (=
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Do you have morning and evening chores? What chores do you have your kiddos do? Do tell, I'd love to think of more jobs for my kids to take off my hands! ;)
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